Are you my perfect reader?

I’m looking for a few good friends, teammates, the sort of people I want with me in case of dragon attack, alien invasion, or unexpected relocation to the Fire Swamp. Not everyone is my perfect reader. Not everyone belongs on my team. Do you? Some tips for identification:

  • You read stories and watch movies and think, man, I want to live there.
  • The fictional worlds you think this about make you also want an invisibility cloak, a personal shielding device, and maybe a flamethrower before you will set foot there.
  • You look at stories of superhero teams, police partners, and ragtag bands of misfits and think, I want friends like that. I want people like that watching my back and leading me into, and out of, adventure and danger.
  • No matter what anyone says about travel and communication and global culture, you understand that the world has not gotten smaller. It is still big, it is still full of things, and it has a lot of people who are not much like you at all. You think that’s a really good thing. You’d like to know more about it and them.
  • You are happy to discover something you know nothing about. You don’t waste time being ashamed of your ignorance, but start remedying it with interest and enthusiasm.
  • You look at things that are broken, discarded, and antiquated and think, I could make that work again. I could make it work better. And I want to, because that automated cheese grater is pretty cool and I always wanted to turn a record player into a chicken rotisserie.
  • You are just a little bit of a freak. Maybe you’ve gone through the gauntlet of schooling, where being a freak means being a target. Maybe you’ve come out the other side and discovered that being a freak has its perks.
  • You would rather be kind than nice. You would rather be happy than respectable. You would rather be unique than traditional.
  • You want to live long enough to see the future because it probably has some pretty cool stuff in it. You think the future starts right now and goes on forever. You want to be there every day.
  • You think building pillow forts and blowing bubbles and playing with stuffed animals should be lifelong activities.
  • You hate cruelty and people who exploit the vulnerable. You love compassion and people who become heroes for themselves and others.
  • You think romance involves enthusiastic consent and open communication and shared lives. You don’t expect mind reading, you don’t value mystique, and you sure as hell aren’t interested in stalking and abuse masquerading as love and affection.
  • You love animals, especially the talking ones.
  • Whatever happens, wherever you end up, whatever you have to face, you’re ready for it: you know where your towel is.

If this sounds like you, hi, welcome to the team. There aren’t a lot of us, but we’ve got spirit and we stick together. Let’s go have an adventure together.

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